I asked one of our Mentor Moms to be a guest blogger and share something with us here. Anything that she thought would be appropriate. I trusted that she didn't need my direction, but that God would lay something on her heart at the right time. And, sure enough, He did. Surprised? Didn't think so.
(I'm a little embarassed, and touched, that she included me in her story...I promise I didn't bribe her with anything to do so!)
Let's read what she was led to share with us:
Okay…Cindy asked if I would be a guest blogger for our website. I didn’t know what to say or write about until last Sunday. I was in Youth Sunday School class when Daniel spoke about God’s grace that he gives us. Then, the preacher talked about God’s grace in his sermon. It was like a message straight for me to write about in my blog. So I wrote these words on my church bulletin, “God’s grace allows us to share our shame with others.”
I don’t like talking about my past because there are parts that I am ashamed of. I was a teenage mother at 18. I had 2 more children with my starter marriage and a fourth child with my husband now. It makes me sound like I have gotten around too many times. The girls have different last names than my boys and I hate having to explain why that is, every time someone puts the pieces together, that we are all part of one family. But I was enlightened that we all have sin. We all have shame, but God allows us to share that shame with those that we trust. You, my dear ladies, are someone that I consider I can trust. We all have a story. They may be different, but God has brought us together for a reason, to share our burdens so we don’t have to do it alone!
Just a Snippet of My Story
A little over 12 years ago, I was introduced to a detective from the Commerce Police Department, by the Municipal Court Judge for Commerce, whom also was my current mother-in-law. She instantly went into motion to get him to take me out on a date. The problem was….I was technically married. I had been separated from my husband almost 2 years. I had 3 children and was living as a single parent. Long story short, my first husband had left when I was 3 months pregnant with my 3rd child. Just left me a message on the answering machine. I was devastated! So….I think in guilt for what her son had done, she felt the need to have someone good for me.
Well, my first impression was…he is too old for me! (He was starting to gray! Lol!) Then, the feelings of insecurity set in. Who would want me? I am married and have 3 kids. I worked part time, went to college part time, not a desirable proposition for a man who had never been married or had children of his own! But, the Lord works in mysterious ways! Two months later, we went on our first date. We have been together ever since. (Yes, I finally got divorced! The hold out was, if you were pregnant in the state of Texas, you couldn’t get divorced because it makes the unwed mother statistic go up! I got divorced in July of 1999. We were married in December 2000, so don’t think that I am a polygamist! Ha ha! ) My children were 10 months, 2 and 5 years old. This man has been my children’s father for the past 12 years, because their fathers don’t have a part of their lives. Their choice, not mine!
Now, God sent me this good man for me and my children, but I wanted to obtain some control over what happened in my life. My first marriage was a bust and I was determined to make this work but on my terms! (See there goes that insecurity again!) I kept putting these conditions on what I wanted out of this marriage. I wanted to finish college and start teaching. This man kept my kids at night so that I could go to school at night without paying a babysitter. When we discussed adding to our family, I put more conditions on our relationship. I wanted to teach a year or so. Those were the toughest for a new teacher. Then, I came up with…we need a bigger car. Bam! We got a larger vehicle to fit the whole family. Then, I came up with…we need a larger home. Well, this is what rocked my world! Kerry got promoted to Chief during this time and finally, his boss said he needed to move to Commerce to be a bigger part of the community. I grew up on the other side of Sulphur Springs and had lived outside Sulphur Springs for the past 10 years. Who does this man think he is to impose where I live with my family?! So…reluctantly because everything just fell into place, we moved into a larger home in Commerce. I was instantly miserable. I was away from my family. I was away from my close job. I thought Commerce was a dirty little town! I didn’t know anyone and couldn't care less of getting to know anyone! I just hated it!
That was almost 7 years ago. About 2 and ½ years ago, I decided we had been out of church too long and we visited the FBC in Commerce. After a couple of visits, this young lady came over to me and introduced herself as my husband’s cousin. She was interested in me! Not because of whom I was as the Police Chief’s wife. I was just Kerry’s wife to her. She invited me to come back and even invited us to Sunday school. She started texting my husband to give me messages and one day, he just said….here take Cindy’s number so she can talk to you herself! Well, because she reached out to me, she has become a dear friend to me. Over the next few months, our church got a new youth minister and was married with a family. His wife took an active part in the going ons of the children’s department, but was also interested in starting the MOPS group. Now, the only MOPS group I had seen was one of those click-ish social clubs and I am not one of those people! But when Cindy and Angie asked if I would come to the meetings to get this group started, I did. After hearing the direction that this group wanted to take this MOPS group, I was hooked. It had a real purpose of serving others and for the right reasons. I unfortunately didn’t get to attend many meetings because after having Ally and becoming a mom of 4, my schedule was hectic. And to add to that, I decided to go back to school to get my Master’s degree. So I put more undue stress on my busy life!
When Angie left, MOPS just fell into Cindy’s lap. She didn’t want to see it disappear. None of us did, but no one wanted to step up and see it follow through. Cindy worked effortlessly and when she decided it would take all of us to run our group, she reached out to us. She sent me endless texts, emails and Facebook messages trying to get me drawn back in. When I saw how determined my dear friend was to get this going like it should be, I made more of an effort. I attended the steering committee meeting and volunteered for a position I did not feel comfortable with! But if Cindy can step out of her comfort zone, I needed to step up as a friend and help her make sure that something so important to her and a lot of other moms worked. Then like magic, NO….. like a calling, others of you volunteered for your positions and things began to fall into place.
I have seen our group grow. I have seen God bless our group in more ways than one. I have become part of something so special that I couldn’t imagine not being a part of it now. I will not be a MOP next year, because my youngest will be starting school, but I am glad that I will get to continue to support this group through being a Mentor Mom. God has placed each and every one of you in our group for a reason. That reason is that we are not meant to share our burdens alone. I have come to know many of you over the past year, and for those I am still getting to know, I look forward to learning more about your lives. You, my dear friends have made me grow to love my part of Commerce! Thank God that He has blessed me with everyone of you! Thank all of you for becoming a part of my life! I am forever indebted!
When trying to think of a title for this blog, all that immediately flooded my mind was the beautiful hymn, "Grace, grace...God's grace..." I think it's appropriate to her story. Now, what is holding me up is that when I think about Tracy, I instantly see disco balls and flashing lights going off in my mind. HaHa, this is true. So how do I mix a beautiful message of God's love and grace with the flashy, energetic spirit that she exudes? Maybe simply with this beautiful picture of both combined in her life:
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