Unending Love, Amazing Grace - A Mentor Mom Shares

I asked one of our Mentor Moms to be a guest blogger and share something with us here.  Anything that she thought would be appropriate.  I trusted that she didn't need my direction, but that God would lay something on her heart at the right time.  And, sure enough, He did.  Surprised?  Didn't think so. 

(I'm a little embarassed, and touched, that she included me in her story...I promise I didn't bribe her with anything to do so!)

Let's read what she was led to share with us:

Okay…Cindy asked if I would be a guest blogger for our website.  I didn’t know what to say or write about until last Sunday.  I was in Youth Sunday School class when Daniel spoke about God’s grace that he gives us.  Then, the preacher talked about God’s grace in his sermon. It was like a message straight for me to write about in my blog. So I wrote these words on my church bulletin, “God’s grace allows us to share our shame with others.” 

I don’t like talking about my past because there are parts that I am ashamed of.  I was a teenage mother at 18.  I had 2 more children with my starter marriage and a fourth child with my husband now.  It makes me sound like I have gotten around too many times.  The girls have different last names than my boys and I hate having to explain why that is, every time someone puts the pieces together, that we are all part of one family.  But I was enlightened that we all have sin.  We all have shame, but God allows us to share that shame with those that we trust.  You, my dear ladies, are someone that I consider I can trust.  We all have a story.  They may be different, but God has brought us together for a reason, to share our burdens so we don’t have to do it alone!

Just a Snippet of My Story

A little over 12 years ago, I was introduced to a detective from the Commerce Police Department, by the Municipal Court Judge for Commerce, whom also was my current mother-in-law.  She instantly went into motion to get him to take me out on a date.  The problem was….I was technically married.  I had been separated from my husband almost 2 years.  I had 3 children and was living as a single parent.  Long story short, my first husband had left when I was 3 months pregnant with my 3rd child.  Just left me a message on the answering machine.  I was devastated!  So….I think in guilt for what her son had done, she felt the need to have someone good for me.

Well, my first impression was…he is too old for me!  (He was starting to gray! Lol!)  Then, the feelings of insecurity set in.  Who would want me?  I am married and have 3 kids.  I worked part time, went to college part time, not a desirable proposition for a man who had never been married or had children of his own!  But, the Lord works in mysterious ways!  Two months later, we went on our first date.  We have been together ever since.  (Yes, I finally got divorced! The hold out was, if you were pregnant in the state of Texas, you couldn’t get divorced because it makes the unwed mother statistic go up!  I got divorced in July of 1999.  We were married in December 2000, so don’t think that I am a polygamist! Ha ha! )  My children were 10 months, 2 and 5 years old.  This man has been my children’s father for the past 12 years, because their fathers don’t have a part of their lives.  Their choice, not mine!

Now, God sent me this good man for me and my children, but I wanted to obtain some control over what happened in my life.  My first marriage was a bust and I was determined to make this work but on my terms!  (See there goes that insecurity again!)  I kept putting these conditions on what I wanted out of this marriage.  I wanted to finish college and start teaching.  This man kept my kids at night so that I could go to school at night without paying a babysitter.  When we discussed adding to our family, I put more conditions on our relationship.  I wanted to teach a year or so.  Those were the toughest for a new teacher.  Then, I came up with…we need a bigger car.  Bam!  We got a larger vehicle to fit the whole family.  Then, I came up with…we need a larger home.  Well, this is what rocked my world!  Kerry got promoted to Chief during this time and finally, his boss said he needed to move to Commerce to be a bigger part of the community.  I grew up on the other side of Sulphur Springs and had lived outside Sulphur Springs for the past 10 years.  Who does this man think he is to impose where I live with my family?!  So…reluctantly because everything just fell into place, we moved into a larger home in Commerce.  I was instantly miserable.  I was away from my family.  I was away from my close job.  I thought Commerce was a dirty little town!  I didn’t know anyone and couldn't care less of getting to know anyone!  I just hated it!

That was almost 7 years ago.  About 2 and ½ years ago, I decided we had been out of church too long and we visited the FBC in Commerce.  After a couple of visits, this young lady came over to me and introduced herself as my husband’s cousin.  She was interested in me!  Not because of whom I was as the Police Chief’s wife.  I was just Kerry’s wife to her.  She invited me to come back and even invited us to Sunday school.  She started texting my husband to give me messages and one day, he just said….here take Cindy’s number so she can talk to you herself!  Well, because she reached out to me, she has become a dear friend to me.  Over the next few months, our church got a new youth minister and was married with a family.  His wife took an active part in the going ons of the children’s department, but was also interested in starting the MOPS group.  Now, the only MOPS group I had seen was one of those click-ish social clubs and I am not one of those people!  But when Cindy and Angie asked if I would come to the meetings to get this group started, I did.  After hearing the direction that this group wanted to take this MOPS group, I was hooked.  It had a real purpose of serving others and for the right reasons.  I unfortunately didn’t get to attend many meetings because after having Ally and becoming a mom of 4, my schedule was hectic.  And to add to that, I decided to go back to school to get my Master’s degree.  So I put more undue stress on my busy life!

When Angie left, MOPS just fell into Cindy’s lap.  She didn’t want to see it disappear.  None of us did, but no one wanted to step up and see it follow through.  Cindy worked effortlessly and when she decided it would take all of us to run our group, she reached out to us.  She sent me endless texts, emails and Facebook messages trying to get me drawn back in.  When I saw how determined my dear friend was to get this going like it should be, I made more of an effort.  I attended the steering committee meeting and volunteered for a position I did not feel comfortable with!  But if Cindy can step out of her comfort zone, I needed to step up as a friend and help her make sure that something so important to her and a lot of other moms worked.  Then like magic, NO….. like a calling, others of you volunteered for your positions and things began to fall into place. 

 I have seen our group grow.  I have seen God bless our group in more ways than one.  I have become part of something so special that I couldn’t imagine not being a part of it now.  I will not be a MOP next year, because my youngest will be starting school,  but I am glad that I will get to continue to support this group through being a Mentor Mom.  God has placed each and every one of you in our group for a reason.  That reason is that we are not meant to share our burdens alone.  I have come to know many of you over the past year, and for those I am still getting to know, I look forward to learning more about your lives.  You, my dear friends have made me grow to love my part of Commerce!  Thank God that He has blessed me with everyone of you!  Thank all of you for becoming a part of my life!  I am forever indebted!

When trying to think of a title for this blog, all that immediately flooded my mind was the beautiful hymn, "Grace, grace...God's grace..."  I think it's appropriate to her story.  Now, what is holding me up is that when I think about Tracy, I instantly see disco balls and flashing lights going off in my mind.  HaHa, this is true.  So how do I mix a beautiful message of God's love and grace with the flashy, energetic spirit that she exudes?  Maybe simply with this beautiful picture of both combined in her life:



Dear Fruit Loop, I'm so sorry!

I've done it before.  Twice, in fact.  Most of my friends have successfully done it.  My sister was able to accomplish it.  Generations that have come before me have done it.  Everywhere I look, I see people who have mastered it.  So why, on why, am I failing now?  I am quite sure that my son, my beautiful little boy, will be THE ONE to be the exception to the rule that I always hear!  You've all heard it, too...say it with me, "No child goes to school wearing diapers."  Au contraire, my friends.  Soon, you will see...you have been mistaken in your thinking all this time...for soon, there shall be a child that, indeed, will be starting school in his diapers.  Excuse, me...PULL-UPS.  Pull-ups are not diapers.  Right?  (insert loud, tired sigh here, should have bought stock in them.)

I made the mistake of calling them "big boy underwear" when we transitioned my son out of his diapers.  In my naivete, I thought it would be a quick transition into real underwear.  Now, more than a year later, we are still wearing pull-ups.  I feel so ashamed.  Not at him, really.  More at myself.  What have I done to fail so miserably this time?  We tried to be casual about it and not pressure him, as we did not want to not give him the same bad potty training experience his father had.  Was it a mistake?  I don't want to shame him, so I try to keep my frustration hidden from him.  But seriously, this sweet boy doesn't care at all that he goes #1 in his pull-up.  Nor does he care that he goes #2 in his pull-up.  Will he use the bathroom in the potty?  OH yes!  He's great at it.  It just doesn't matter to him if he does or not.  I think somewhere along the way, pull-ups have just become his port-o-potty. 

I have tried it all.  Except the naked thing.  I just can't do that.  Not that if you have done it, it's wrong.  I don't mean that at all.  I just can't bring myself to do it with my child.  Maybe partly because, well, I just don't want to see him in all his nakedness, THAT much.  In this season of life I'm in with two little boys, I think I have seen enough hiney and boy privates to have lasted me 3 lifetimes.

Google-ing does me no good.  Every article I read and every new idea or advice I read, I've tried already.  Or else, really, it just sounds ridiculous and like it's written by a child development expert who has never had their own child before!

Today, I think I've finally decided to try one thing I've been putting off.  Fruit Loops.  Oh dear.  Here, son...let's use our bodily waste to sink the fruit loops!  Which color first????  Blue?  Purple?  Yay!  Ready, aim, fire!  Well...to all the fruit loops that will give their life to this experiment, I do apologize in advance.  Yes, you would have tasted great soaked in creamy milk...but maybe the urine won't be so bad. 

But, in the event this doesn't work, because well...I just am all out of optimism, I'd like to officially write to Pampers Inc. and ask them if they would please consider making size 8 diapers, because I'm sure I will be needing them soon.  Can someone find me their address? 

Personal Testimony - "One More Time"

At our latest meeting, we were touched to hear one mom share with us how she came to seek out a MOPS group.  It's not easy to make yourself vulnerable to strangers and even harder to try again and again, after being rejected before.  Sarah told us all that visiting our MOPS group was her promise to herself to try and reach out "one last time."  I'm so glad she did.  She is a wonderful friend and a bright ray of sunshine when she walks into a room.  In a group full of women that are "outsiders" of some sort, she is now just ONE OF THE GIRLS!

Here is Sarah's story:

I've always been a real social person. I was involved in lots of things personally, and also with work. That is one things about teaching, they will keep you busy. I was very used to my nonstop life style. Things slowed down a little when I met Jason and got married. We bought a nice piece of land "out in the country" and we thought that when our kids got to be school age we would build a house out there so the kids have a chance to be involved in sports. More involved than the schools in Frisco and Allen would allow due to enrollment size.

The summer of '07 is when the housing market began it's slide down. On a whim we decided to put the house up for sale and see what happens. The next month is when we found out we were expecting our first child and the house sold. At this point we weren't sure what we were going to do. We had the land but our original plan was still about 5-6 yrs away...now no house or houseplans. We quickly drew up some blueprints, moved in my with in-laws, and prayed that this was the right thing to do. Now we had a baby due date and told the contractor he had to be done by then.

The pregnancy and that school year passed quickly. My biggest problem during this time is that we had all our stuff stored in many places. It drove me crazy not being able to organize things or set up a nursery. Just boxes of stuff for 7 months. It drove me crazy! Feb 23rd 2008 the house was "done enough" to move it and 5 days later Joe was born.

Now here I was a new house, new baby, recovering from a c-section/pneumonia, and now a stay at home mom an hour away from all my support systems. LOTS of adjustments!! I threw myself into the role of mommy. I loved Joe but he was a crier. People told me to put him in the car. Ok, the second he was in his carseat he would scream. That means, an hour of screaming to the doctor and an hour back. It was an hour everywhere. Then if the screaming wasn't bad enough he LOVED his bed. That means he would only sleep in his bed. Now I was truly trapped at home. I was miserable!!! No friends, stuck in the house in the middle of no where. The adjustments in my life were huge and wearing on me.

My thought was I would meet people at church here in town. I knew one of two things would happen: 1. They would welcome me with "small town" open arms or 2. See me as an outsider. Unfortunately, it was the 2nd one. I thought well if I can just make it to when they are school age, I can meet more people through the kids. That was a long way off. I was lonely NOW!

During this time I took it day by day and kept myself busy with the kids, cleaning house, etc and tried to put it behind me. Then I became pregnant with our 2nd son (They are 19 months apart). During naptime I would search the internet for mom's groups and ways to meet new people. Being this far out and napping only in his bed really limited me. I knew about MOPS and I put my zip code in to find the closest one. My choices were McKinney (45 mins away) or Commerce (40 mins away). Sadly, I was thinking the McKinney stereotype (remember I had lived in Plano/Frisco for 8 yrs) or the smaller town of Commerce. I had the rejection of my small town church still in my mind. I decided that I would try the smaller town one more time.

In Jan 09, 2 months after Levi was born I told my husband I was going to make new friends and headed to a MOPS meeting in Commerce. **This is where began to get choked up*** I walked into the small room (where we serve the food now) and there were about 6 ladies. They were so nice and we even did a craft. I was ecstatic!! I went home SOO excited. I could not sleep that night because I felt that I finally found it, I found people who will accept me. I could not wait until the next meeting. The girls of MOPS quickly became my friends. I had friends!!! My husband told me he was glad to have the "old Sarah" back. These women made me feel special and the sadness and loneliness left me. I am so grateful for these women. Not only my friends, but godly women too. Through MOPS I found way more than I was ever hoping for. I feel so blessed to be part of MOPS and thankful for my FRIENDS!

Blessings

Are you having a hard time finding God's favor in your life?  Are you struggling with things that just make you want to cry out to God, asking "Why me?  Why my child?  Why my job?  Why my family?  Why?  Why?  Why?"  Are you wondering why others seem to be showered in blessings and you can't see any in your life? 

Well, what do you consider a blessing, anyway? 

Dicitonary.com says a blessing is a special favor, gift, mercy or benefit bestowed by God.

Usingenglish.com says that a blessing in disquise is bad luck or misfortune ultimately resulting in something positive.

So is a blessing a single event or is it a journey? 

In our moments of despair and angst, it is hard to accept that this may be a necessary step in God's design for our lives, to bring us closer to Him.  To weaken our ability and need to be in control of our life, in order to fully surrender and commit ourselves to God. 

What are you dealing with right now?  Does it feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders?  Do you feel like you just can't take anymore?  It happens to us all at some point.  Just don't lose sight of the bigger picture.  Look around you...your neighbor just buried their child.  Look around you...your best friend just lost their job.  Look around you...your colleague that has 3 small children just got blindsided with divorce papers.  Look around you...families are being torn apart by war.  Look around you...countries are being devastated by natural disasters.  Look AROUND you.  Quit looking AT you.  There will never be a point in this life where we are not struggling with something terrible.  Just don't lose sight of the bigger picture.  What is the bigger picture?  God loves us.  He created us.  We are His beloved children.  He wants us to come to Him, to give ourselves to Him.  He has a home waiting for us.  A home where there will be no struggles, no sickness, no hardships, no disease, no death, no sadness.  He never promised us a utopian life here on earth; what God promised us is that He would not abandon us.  THAT my friend, is the bigger picture.  That is a blessing.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things


'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise


We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe


When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home


What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

-Laura Story

Are you Mary or Are you Martha?

While Jesus and his followers were traveling, Jesus went into a town. A woman named Martha let Jesus stay at her house.  Martha had a sister named Mary, who was sitting at Jesus' feet and listening to him teach.  But Martha was busy with all the work to be done. She went in and said, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me alone to do all the work? Tell her to help me."

 But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things.  Only one thing is important. Mary has chosen the better thing, and it will never be taken away from her."

Luke 10:38-42

I was reading someone else's blog this morning and as I finished, I just shook my head.  It was all too familiar to me.  Being busy.  This is not my struggle, but it was my mom's.  Is it yours? 

I think anything from my childhood that upset me, I countered by becoming just the opposite.  Maybe it was my survival insticts.  Being overly busy was one thing that always upset me about my mom.  She could never just sit down and enjoy things.  She HAD to be doing something all the time.  She was good at visiting while doing other things...but it was the face time I craved.  I wanted her undivided attention.  I wanted her sitting down close to me, focused. 

I may overcompensate too much for this in my own life.  I spend my mornings sitting next to my children, snuggled on the couch with them while they watch their morning cartoon.  Could I be getting a lot of work done during this time?  Oh for sure.  There is always laundry waiting for me.  Dishes that didn't get washed from the night before.  Dust holding my children's handprints there are on the entertainment center.  I could have gotten us all dressed and out the door for the errands that need to be run.  But I want my son to FEEL me there with him, without having to look up.  I want to hear every word he says.  I want to show him that I care about if Dora takes the circle path or the triangle path.  I know not everyone can do this, but you do have time after work.  Or do you? 

Stop and think about all the activities you are involved in?  If there are more than two or three, then think about how fully you commit yourself to each one.  Are you giving your all to each activity?  And if not, then why are you involved in it?  How do you feel about other people who half way participate in the things that are important to you?  Does it frustrate you? 

Do you really need to be in PTO?  Will your child suffer if you aren't?  Do you really need to have your child in gymnastics AND softball?  Karate AND cubscouts?  Does that leave them time to enjoy the programs at church?  Does that leave them time to enjoy their own backyard at home?  Are they home enough to remember what their rooms look like?  Or are you teaching your children to be overstretched too?  Do you really need to coach their team?  Or can you just enjoy watching them play?  Do you really need to be their scout leader?  Or can you just enjoy hearing what all they learned?  Do you really need to be the room mother?  Or can you just send snacks with your child?  Do you really need to chaperone their field trip?  Or can you just enjoy letting them tell you about their fun trip and all that they learned, with big, excited eyes?  Do you really need to help organize a fundraiser for the school festival?  Or can you just buy extra tickets or donate goodies for the cake walks?  Do you really need to be involved in this or that activity?  Or could you replace it with serving in a ministry at church?  (Are you teaching your children to be fully involved in activities or fully serving others?)  Do you really need to spend the day driving to Old Navy to get your child some cute clothes?  Or can you just get them an outfit at Wal-Mart so that the day is free to spend with them?  Do you really need to mow this weekend?  Or can it wait a few days?  Do you really need to spend everynight after they are in bed cleaning and doing laundry?  Or can you just crash on the couch and catch up on some mindless tv?  NONE of these things are bad!  In fact, they are all wonderful things to do.  But if you do too many, you are just killing yourself and for what?  Do you really think your child cares that you are Supermom?  They just want you to be with them.  And not just as a passenger in the car on the way to the next thing. 

Even as an adult, I used to beg my mom to just come sit down and visit with me.  "I can do this and talk at the same time!," she would say.  Yes, she could.  She did it very well.  But that's not what I wanted.  I wanted HER.  I craved HER.  I was always super needy of her, and I think that's why.  I could never get "full" of her.  She was a queen at multi-tasking, as a lot of us are.  But I just never want my children to feel like they are never quite satisfied with the time I give them.  Now, my mom is in Heaven...her life cut short.  I bet if she would have known her days were coming to an end, she would have spent more time FULLY on us and less out pulling the weeds. 

Don't be a Martha, spending your time being SuperWoman.  Let your children call you Mary.  It won't hurt to slow down, I promise.  Being busy is a good thing...just be busy doing the RIGHT things. 

I'm including the blog post I read earlier, in case you are interested in reading it.  You can find it below:

Macaroni Meditations by Jonalyn Fincher

When Dale and I had been married less than a year I remarked how nothing was more thrilling than doing more than one thing at a time.

Knitting while watching Pride and Prejudice (A&E version).
Finishing a novel while drinking tea, a persimmon cookie waiting on the side.
Making a phone call just as I search for an exit ramp.
Nursing Finn while watching 30 Rock.
Downloading pictures while answering email.
Simmering macaroni between folding laundry.
Dale simply repeated my words, “nothing more thrilling” and creased his brow.  No further comment.
If I can dash down the snow packed steps to our basement door outside to start a load of laundry, pick up some more diapers (stored in the basement), run upstairs, start the timer, get water boiling for pasta, kick some dog toys into their corner farther from Finn’s avid hands, scoop my wee one up for some attempts to feed him butternut squash, separate his laundry, add the pasta, turn on some music, screen a call, do my make-up, let the dogs out, stir the bubbling pasta, turn the  heat down, wipe Finn’s face, change a diaper, ask Dale to watch him, check the laundry, balance the jacuzzi outside, run inside and find the pasta nearly boiling over, but just in time to rescue another burned stove top, I feel sort-of superior.
I feel darn good about myself.
Look how much I got done in my 30 minutes?
My not-so-hidden point: what did you do with yours?
Spinning several plates at once, juggling several balls, all the burners on, a pot on every one has been the way not just for me, but for most Americans.  We judge each other by our business.  I’ve heard that to ask someone in China, “How are you?” the expected answer is, “I am very busy, thank you” because if you’re busy you must be fine.  Look at how many people want you, need you!
Every now and again…okay, every day, one of the dozens of things I’m doing will grab my attention, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of it. My attention stolen to a clamoring Finn, or growling among the corgis, a buzzing text, an urgent, painful email and then, the threatening macaroni boils over.
I always take my anger out on the macaroni.  How entirely uncooperative!

Hard to feel amazing, accomplished, a deft and very important woman when the house smells like burned pasta.
I’m not sure I have the patience to watch over macaroni during those valuable “simmer for 8-10 minutes.”
Which convinces me of something embarassing and childish.
I have a core belief that there’s enough time. I’m racing against the clock, saving up time to spend it, like gold.
I think I actually believe I haven’t been given enough time.
I’m starting to think macaroni is a discipline to alter the time-Nazi in me.
I seethe and roil, just like the water, when I just stand there, alternatively stirring and wondering if I should dust behind the lazy susan.  Spotting a dead fly, trying to run and get the vacuum to suck it up between stirring.  I’m no longer noticing the macaroni. Sometimes I accidentally drop the fly into the macaroni!
Just kidding.
Mother Teresa said that prayer can be learned by watching the flowers.  Well, I don’t have any to watch at the moment. My flowers are buried under dozens of inches of snow outside my window.
But I do have some macaroni.
My grandfather was a master at noticing the stuff right in front of him, from the way an animal cracker’s face smiles to the cowlick on my son’s crown. He once sliced open a chocolate bar, carefully unfolding the aluminum foil that preserved the treat.  I was wriggling to pop a piece into my mouth. But Papi took his time, pointing out the fine, onion-skin quality of the foil, how easy it was to impress.

I was young enough to be impressed. Papi, like Mother Teresa, like David the Psalmist notices how the world teaches us how to respond to God and ourselves.  Staring at, meditating on the stars, the sea, the Leviathan, the storks, the goats is something David did regularly (Ps 104).  God tells Job to notice the world to help him see God (Job 40-41).  Jesus commends us to the lilies and the birds (Matt 6:27, Matt 8:20) to better know him.
Next time I make macaroni and for the next 365 days, I want to pause for those 8-10 minutes and notice what I’m doing, to build an altar in the world.
I will stir and notice the way the old pine knots in the panelling. I will look at what has been done, the clean stove, the ordered bottles, rather than what needs doing. I will do more than glance out the window between flurrying and see the living knots in aspen of White Woods.  And for 8-10 minutes I will read the world as reverently as I read the Bible.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

(watch till the very end!)

Yesterday, on the way home from picking the girls up from school, I overheard this conversation:

Daughter #2 - "We had fish filets and cole slaw on the lunch tray today.  What is cole slaw, anyway?"

Daughter #1 - "I'm not sure.  I know its something mushy and I know old people eat it."

Today on the way to school number 2, I heard this conversation:

Son - "You're not a sister!"

Daughter - "Yes I am!  I'm your sister and you're my brother because you're a boy and I'm a girl."

Son - "No, I'm not a brother and I'm not a boy!  I'm a Mac!"

My mother always told me to keep a journal of the things the children say, because I would forget them!  Well, wouldn't you know that she was right, but I never did.  My kids keep me in stitches all the time.  I ran across this quiz that you are supposed to give to your children (blank questionaire is included down below.)  You ask the questions and then write down their answers.  It's cute to see what they say.  Two years ago, I "interviewed" my daughters, who were 6 and 9 at the time.  Here are their responses:

1. What is something mom always says to you?
M - "Hi, Punkin"
A-"Time For Bed!"

2. What makes mom happy?
M - "When I do what I'm supposed to do"
A-"When I Don't Bother her!"

3. What makes mom sad?
M - "when I disobey her"
A-"When I bother her."

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
M - " She says funny things."
A-"I don't really know."

5. What was your mom like as a child?
M - "happy...I don't know!"
A-"Oh that's hard!"

6. How old is your mom?
M & A -"30"

7. How tall is your mom?
M - "lets see, I'm 52" so 62 or 72"
A- 3'6"

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
M _ "Play the wii."
A-"I would say play the wii"

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
M - watch tv, takes naps and take care of Mac"
A- "watches tv and sits on the couch"

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
M - "for being a florist"
A-"writing books"

11. What is your mom really good at?
M - "making flower arrangements"
A-"cooking!"

12. What is your mom not very good at?
M - this one's hard! she's good at a lot of things"
A-"gymnastics"

3. What does your mom do for her job?"
M - "she doesn't go to work, but she takes care of us and loves us"
A-"take care of my baby brother, she doesn't really have a job, but to do that"

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
M - "nachos from TaMolly's"
A-"breakfast tacos"

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
M - "when she cooks really good meals"
A-"how well she takes care of me"

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
M - "Sunny or Sunny's mom"
A-"she would be on Sunny With A Chance, she would be Sunny's mom"

17. What do you and your mom do together?
M - "crafts and watch tv and play games"
A-"play the wii"

18. How are you and your mom the same?
M - "we both are smart"
A- "we have the same color hair and eyes"

19. How are you and your mom different?
M - "we are different ages"
A-"I don't really know"

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
M - "because she cares for me and tells me that she loves me"
A-"Because she says I love you"

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
M - TaMolly's
A-"Bowling Alley"

22. Why does Mommy like Daddy?
M - "Because he's funny and nice!"
A-"Because they went to school together"



Kid Questionare


1. What is something mom always says to you?

2. What makes mom happy?

3. What makes mom sad?

4 How does your mom make you laugh?

5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child?

6. How old is your mom?

7. How tall is your mom?

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

11. What is your mom really good at?

12. What is your mom not very good at?

13. What does your mom do for her job?

14. What is your mom's favorite food?

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

17. What do you and your mom do together?

18. How are you and your mom the same?

19. How are you and your mom different?

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

I Triple Dog Dare You!

I am simply posting a video for you to watch.  Please, I IMPLORE you, to take the time to watch this.  It is long and it is intense.  Watch when it is quiet around you and you can really listen and focus.  Stay up late or get up early...whatever you need to do to take the time to watch.

Now... 

What is it that you are holding onto because you think God can't handle it? 

 I think you should rethink it. 

Don't you?

Same Difference - Wired for Community

This past Saturday, 8 girls from the MOPS of Greater Hunt County leadership team attended a MOPS leadership summit in Melissa, Texas.  The time together with other area group leaders was food for my soul.  I hope it was for the other girls, too.  I can't imagine that a single one of them left unchanged. 

I thought I'd share a little about what I came away with.

After a short opening group session, we separated into breakout sessions.  Mine was a group of about 8 other MOPS coordinators.  (The location this year had about 1/3 of the attendance of the location we attended last year.)  We basically just shared concerns we had with our groups, ideas about how to reach more moms, struggles and ways to overcome them, fundraising ideas, how to stay close and connected to our charter ministry (God bless FBC Commerce and their heart to support outreach ministries - was reminded again how blessed we are to be in partnership with them!)  Last year, our group was the small fish in a big pond at this summit.  No, that's not quite accurate.  We were a small fish in a SEA!  This year, we actually had ideas to share that others were engaged in hearing.  Others were impressed with a lot of things about our group.  Mainly, that we were able to offer free MOPS.  Most groups do not work like ours does.  MOPS International requires us to pay a membership fee of 23.95 yearly, for each mom.  However, other groups also charge the moms anywhere from 10 dollars a meeting to hundreds of dollars a year, JUST TO ATTEND!  This blows my mind.  Some of them were saying that the church that charters them, requires them to pay rental fees to use the building, plus electricity costs.  Some had to supply their own paper plates and cups.  Some even mentioned having to pay a dollar to have a cup of coffee at the meetings.  Oh my word.  It is just a sad reality that some churches forget that we are called to serve people.  Church is NOT a club or social event.  MOPS should not be either.  Spell it with me folks:  M-I-N-I-S-T-R-Y.

We all met back as a big group for lunch and then we had general session together, along with 47 other locations...watching the live simulcast from Denver, Colorado.  The guest speakers were Dale and Jonalyn Fincher.  They are a husband and wife speaker team who travel around the country speaking to groups.  They are founders of Soulation, a non-profit that helps others "be appropriately human." 

Here is what I came away with:

Jonalyn talked about how we are all created in God's image.  We've all heard this a thousand times, right?  Genesis 1:26 says "God created human beings in His own image; male and female."  She said that she found herself curious as to how that was specific to a WOMAN.  What part of us as women, reflects God?  She was led to this verse:  John 3: 6-7  "Very surely I tell you that no one can come to the kingdom of Heaven unless he is born again."   Well, what about our birth stories? That is certainly something that is unique to a woman.  If you are a mom, you have one.  Jonalyn shared with us her personal birth story.  She likened our birth stories to the way God brings us to Him, to our "re-birth."  He loves us before we are even born.  He groans, pants and gasps for us like a woman in labor.  (Isaiah 42:14)  Can you remember the pain and agony of your childbirth?  Can you remember how it felt?  Can you remember how you felt at that moment that it was over?  When you saw your child take their first breath, make their first cry?  When you held them for the first time?  How much more then, do you think God labors for us?  It must be agonizing to see us go this way or that way, to make our mistakes, to follow down the wrong paths, to be yoked with people that we shouldn't be.  He never gives up, though...never.  Can you imagine then, how God must feel when we come to Him for the first time?  When we cry out to Him for the first time?  When we open our arms to Him for the first time?  Yes, I think Jonayln drew a remarkable comparison.  One I don't think I ever would have thought about on my own.  She made this statement, "The closest image of what Christ goes through and does for us in our lives to bring us to Him is the image of what a woman goes through while birthing children." 

Some key points I wrote down:

-Lead your group from a place of pain, relief, love and sorrow.

-The greatest hurts you will ever feel will likely come from those you have community with.  However, the greatest love you will ever feel will also likely come from those you have communtiy with.

-God made us all different.  It is the devil who wants us to all be the same.  What's wrong with being different, anyway?  Let's work to get away from this idea that we all have to be the same to get along.  Let's celebrate our differences.

-Don't put people in a box.  Don't label them.  But you will anyway.  So, how do you fix that?  How do you have a conversation with someone you have already labeled?  Peel off the layers.  Find out who they are.  Find out what they like to do.   Seek them out, just as God has sought you out.  Remember that they are human, just like you.  We all come from the same place.  Just as it says in Psalm 103:14 "...you are just dust."  Be humble with each other.  Dale Fincher noted that humble and humanity share the same root word.

-They shared some incredible stories of learning to love each other.  My favorite phrase they used is "Learn to be a scholar of one another, for that is where love lives."  Isnt' that powerful.  This is true of friendship and this is true of marriage.  How can you truly express love to another person?  Take the time to know them.  Dig deeper than surface level.  She laughingly said that "I could love so many more people if it just didn't take so much time."  Maybe its more important to love a few people WELL, than to like a few people KIND OF. 

-What do you want your legacy to be?  I heard them say this about someone and it made me think of my grandmother, Ruby.  "Her legacy is that, with her, you knew that you were loved."  If that was the extent of my legacy, I feel like my life were well lived.

-Expect love to change you.  True love IS NOT a "drive by act of charity."  (Ouch...that might hit a few of us hard.)

-The last thing I'll make note of is that Jonalyn asked this question:  "Look down at your shoes.  What do the shoes you are wearing today say about you as a person?  How do they fit?  How do they feel?  How do they appear?"  Well, if you know me very well at all...you can probably guess what shoes I had on.  My old, dirty black crocs.  Hmmm...is this telling of my personality?  I'd say Oh yeah! 

I guess I'll just close with this:  Being a leader is not my "spiritual gift."  However, I think as long as I love people, I trust that God will help me be the best leader I can be.  And I definitley love all of friends in MOPS.  My old friends, and the new ones I make everyday.  I love our all of our differences...because it is in those differences that we can all be the same.  A community.