Living Authentically

Take a Minute to Watch this video:

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=J2EE9MNU

Living Authentically

Definitions:

Authentic - To be the same person in private that we are in public. To be genuine, not false.

Real - To be sincere, not counterfeit, artificial or imitation.
Being actually such, not merely so-so.

Authenticity is the opposite of faking it. It’s being the person God created us to be.

*** Question - What is one of the biggest reasons people give for not attending church?

*** Answer - Because they say people that go to church are hypocrites. Okay, so what’s the definition of hypocrite?


Hypocrite - Pretending to have values, beliefs or virtues that you don’t really possess.

I don’t know how factual this is, but I read that one of the first recorded uses of the word hypocrite was actually in the gospels of the New Testament and was used by Jesus and that when He used it, He used the greek definition which means “actor.”
　
YOU were born with a purpose…to be a woman of influence, to be a model of Jesus’ life to those around us. How can we be influential if we spend our time and efforts trying to be something we are not, like actors and hypocrites? He did not create us to be know-it-alls, liars or pretenders.  Don’t think you can‘t be influential! Don‘t think, “oh not me! There’s no way I can! I don’t have what it takes to be an influence for someone. If anything, I’d be a bad influence!” If you have Christ in your life, then yes, you have influence because God will use you in ways you aren’t even aware of, to influence others, as long as you are living authentically.

***Question - What are some things that people have done for you that have influenced you or made you feel like they really took time to care about you?

***Answer - Even the smallest things, like sending a text to a friend asking how their day is going, or helping them collect their children from the nursery, or giving them a hug, looking them in the eyes when they are talking to you, let them know you pray for them whenever they cross your mind.

What do we as moms need most in a friend? AUTHENTICITY!

When we live our lives concerned with being seen a certain way, we can't develop healthy relationships because they aren’t based on reality. Presenting a perfect, fake life to others creates constant social anxiety in our lives and intimidates the very people we are trying to befriend. Fake relationships don’t feed you with any of the nourishment that comes from having a real one.

The Pharisees, who were the religious leaders in Jesus’ time were so busy living a life based on their image and not reality, that Jesus didn’t want to have anything to do with them.
Matthew 23: 5-7 says: Everything they do (the Pharisees) is done for people to see. They make their phylacteries * wide and the tassels on their robes long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplace and to be called “Rabbi” by others.

Phylacteries are boxes containing scriptures that they wore on their foreheads and arms.

Jesus surrounded Himself with prostitutes, liars, cowards, people who were “nobodies.”

***Question - Why do you think He did that, instead of spending His time with the religious leaders, the Pharisees, so that His image wouldn’t be messy?

***Answer -He didn’t care about perfection and those that pretended to have attained perfection probably disgusted Him. Jesus cared then and cares now about those who are authentic.
Jesus wants us to take Him off the cross and have a real relationship with Him…not to keep our distance because we are ashamed of what He will think of our messiness. The same is true of real friendship. Maybe some people will reject us but the ones that won’t reject us will be the ones that end up changing our lives.

It's not how good we are that counts, but how truthful we are about how good we're NOT.

This is how we can draw nearer to Jesus and this is how we can draw nearer to each other.

Be truthful with each other, ask for help when you need it. When you are hurting, find someone to share it with…sharing our daily struggles and even our bigger hurts can build great friendships and support when we need it.

Stop worrying about what people will think about you and be vulnerable.

Do you have struggles, doubts, temptations or a crisis no one knows about - big or small?  What is the primary reason you haven't told anyone?

When you pray, do you come to Jesus as you really are or do you try to be something you aren’t, even when you know He knows better?

Do you hide your dirty laundry or stuff away dirty dishes if you know someone is about to stop by?  Do you avoid taking friends in your vehicle because of the dried up French fries lurking everywhere?  If so, why?

Do you feel the need to make excuses for missing church or do you tell the truth?  Do you think people will judge your relationship with Christ based on your attendance record?  Do you attend church to maintain your “good girl” image? 

Be Real.  Be Broken.   Ask God to help you be vulnerable.  





Oh Throne-Room of Solitude!

 

 

 

I admit it.  I'm hiding.  In the bathroom.  I'm not ashamed! 

 

In foster care classes, we use the word "disregulated" a lot.  It is a fancy word for when your stress level crosses your line of tolerance.  We all use different methods to bring that level back down below the line, into a state of regulation.  Me?  I hide. 

 

I opened a search engine and did a search on "mom's peace and quiet," just on a hope that I'd find some wise words to help me soothe my bleeding ears and frazzled mind.  I kid you not, the following post popped up right away:

 

BabyCenter Team Posted 01/28/2010

Do you ever stay in the bathroom longer than you need to just to enjoy the peace and quiet?

   

Have you ever taken a laptop into the bathroom so you could check your e-mail or surf the Web uninterrupted?

Take our polls here - we won't tell!

 

Seriously...that is exactly what I'm doing.  Now I know I'm not the only crazy person who does this!  Ah, thank you God, for that laugh.

 

 

So here I am, sitting on the floor in my bathroom, amongst a few dirty clothes and on a cold floor.  It's wonderful.  I close my eyes, listen to the instrumentals of the above song, You Are My King, accompanied by the hum of the a/c unit...and slowly but surely, I find my way back to sweet regulation.

 

 

Comedic Relief at It's Finest

11 Step Program for Those

Thinking of Having Children

 

 

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Wiggles, and Dora The Explorer. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).  Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Times of Transition



Most of you know that I am not the original coordinator of our group.  For those of you that don't, here is a quick history lesson for you.  We started this MOPS group in May of 2009.  Angie Smith was the original coordinator and she is the one who was inspired to bring MOPS to Commerce.  She called for a planning meeting and about 6 or 7 of us met up and moved forward as a group.  Angie is the wife of Tommy Smith, who was the Youth Minister at FBC Commerce at that time.  They moved to Lousiana in November of 2010 and MOPS passed from her leadership into mine.  I never in a million years would have wanted, asked or expected to be the coordinator of MOPS had it been any other situation.  It is not my nature to lead.  I am not gifted at speaking in front of people, I get nervous, my voice shakes and my breath leaves me.  However, there I found myself.  Scared to death, but even more afraid of seeing MOPS die.  MOPS had become a salvation of sorts for me.  Salvation from my lonliness and isolation.  I decided then and there that I would seek God's help and guidance and commited to Him that I would move forward and if the group died, then at least it died trying. 


One of my first desires was to see our group grow closer, instead of just larger.  Thinking back to the friendships that we had developed with each other over the first year of MOPS, I know they were deeply rooted in rough, bare naked, sometimes ugly honesty about our lives and struggles.  With the first "post Angie" meeting looming ahead of me, I decided to first start with my own story.  Now that I am blogging, I thought it appropriate to go back and revisit the beginning of this transition time.  Below is some of what I shared with the group about myself that night.  This monologue is what went on inside my head:

My Life Cycle of "Why is it so hard to find a good friend?"

-Everyone I know likes to party and drink alchohol and go to night clubs. I don't want to be a part of that scene. So, I choose to be alone.


-Everyone I know is busy with college and worried about homework, passing tests and what they are going to do on the weekends. All I am worried about is why is my baby running fever and will we scrape up enough money to buy another bag of diapers. So, I choose to be alone.


-We don't fit in anymore, anywhere, even in our own church. The married people who have children all have careers and a home. We are living in a tiny apartment, and my husband is going to school all day and working 12 + hour nights, trying to make ends meet.   Everyone is financially better off that we are and won't understand us. So, we choose to be alone.


-Even when I reach out to the girls that I know, it is awkward because they are all still single or just married and don't have any children. Here I am, already pregnant with my second child. We are living in two seperate worlds, what will we even have to talk about? So, I choose to just be alone.


-Finally, my husband has earned his degree and secured a professional job. Maybe we will start "fitting in" better now. The couples we meet seem like they have it all together. Boy, we sure don't. Where do they find the money to buy those nice, name brand clothes? We are still just scraping by. I thought it would be different than this at this point in our lives! Even though we are starting to feel established, I'm still feeling second rate, so I choose to be alone.


-The other moms I am meeting at softball practice are all so pretty. Their hair is perfectly styled and their clothes are so stylish. Even the stay at home moms look like an ad out of a magazine. I sure don't look like that when I put on my sweats! They look me over just long enough to decide I'm not worthy of inviting into their life. I still feel so awkward and out of place, but I'm here for my daughter so I'll try to just ignore them. And there I sit, choosing to sit alone.


-Why are all these other moms able to fit into their pre pregnancy clothes 6 weeks after they've given birth? When do they even find the time to go to the gym? They are all perfect. Perfect bodies, perfect hair, perfect wardrobe, perfect car, perfect house. I am none of those things!  I'm starting to think that I will never catch up enough to be worthy of having a friend. Where oh where are the other moms that look like me? This stinks and is depressing. I'll keep choosing to be alone!


-After months of seeing an open ministry need in church, I finally decide to step out of my comfort zone, and volunteer to help. After a couple of frustrating years of not enjoying the ministries that I've been helping with, I think I'll just quit. I'd rather choose to be alone than to be miserable!


-I'm think I'll go check out this MOPS planning meeting that I keep hearing about. Sounds like it might be a way to meet other moms. The planning meeting turns into a small group of moms sharing stories, admitting to each other that they don't have it all together either, that their lives have been lined with broken roads and wrong turns. WAIT! What? WHERE HAVE YOU GIRLS BEEN? I've BEEN SO ALONE and now we just happen to all arrive at this table together at the same time. The girl on my right is absolutley gorgeous and full of personality, the girl on my left is SuperMom, somehow running a household of 6 with a full time career and working on her masters degree, the girl across from me is a college professor with a phd, and the tiny little girl on the end looks like the perfect picture of a young mother, fresh out of a Gap magazine.  None of them look like me, none of their lives look like mine, yet we all have this common bond of motherhood and can all find friendship with each other. Maybe I'm finally tired of choosing to be alone.


-What word did I use over and over again in all those scenarios? CHOOSE. It was always my choice to be alone. A year and a half later, I have more good friends than I've ever had before. I don't ever want to choose to be alone again.  Popular author, Max Lucado writes in his book, Cure For The Common Life, that God is not an author of loneliness. Did you hear that?  God does not want us isolated!  God created us to be in relationship with each other.  Just read Ecclesiastes 4:9 and 10:   "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble."  Oh, He has mercy for us who are alone and hurting.  He has mercy for those of us who just need someone to be there to reach back for us when we fall and hit bottom.  It's our choice.  We can waste away in our self pity, or we can recieve the gifts God gives us when He gives us another person to love.  Jesus commands us in John 15:17 to love each other.  It doesn't matter how out of place or inadequate I felt through all of those years. I should have had enough faith to step out of my own insecurities and love people enough to be a friend, without expecting them to be a friend to me first.


Now, months later, I am still struggling to serve as well as I wish I could BUT I have a lot of support from some great girls and some great Mentor Moms, and together, we are chugging along!  We have seen the group outgrow Commerce, and now have renamed the group MOPS of greater Hunt County.  Moms from all over and around the county are seeking out companionship in motherhood and companionship in Christ and I think that's FANTABULOUS! 

Hiding the Corn

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity,

but a Spirit of power.  2 Timothy 1:7

Recently, a friend of mine mentioned that she hides corn in her daughter's macaroni & cheese.  This made me smile, mainly because I know how strong willed her daughter is and I could just see this playing out in my mind's eye.  I forgot about it completley until I was laying in bed that night.  I kept thinking about it and couldn't stop.  I'm really not sure why.  Then it dawned on me.  I couldn't stop thinking about it, because it hit home to me, it felt so familiar.  But in a different way.

MOPS.  We hide the corn.  The whole theory behind MOPS International is to reach out to moms and meet their needs.  THEN, when we have been successful in getting them to come, sneak in a little about Christ here.  Throw in a scripture reference there.  Show them how God is helping us in our own lives; how He is changing us, giving us hope, without shoving it in their faces...without suffocating them with Christianity.  We hide the corn.  We give them them what they want (the macaroni & cheese) by helping them find what we all desire: relationship.  We are building friendships, trying to help when we see a need, spending time listening to each other's problems, having lots of down time by doing crafts, playing silly games, going on outings, providing meals and time for them to have a couple of hours here and there to remember who they are, apart from their child.  What they don't see is the corn.  The stuff that is even better for them than the starchy macaroni.  The stuff that provides them with the nutrition their bodies crave. 

My hope is that we get to a place where we all feel so comfortable with each other, that the part of us that is so in love with Christ comes out in everyday conversation.  It's not only good for those who don't know Him, it's good for those of us who do.  It should be easy.  We all know it isn't always.  If we truly reach out in love, then that has to include sharing our love of God with others.  Our group:  well, I think we are doing a pretty good job of this.  I feel like we have a good balance of corn and macaroni & cheese and I don't think we feel like we have to hide the corn.  We are proud of our corn.  I must say, I do love the macaroni & cheese part, too!  Both sustain me.  I find joy, rest and renewal in both.  Who knew food could be so deep?

Jesus said, " . . . Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  Matthew 28:20

Strategies for Managing Stress

At our MOPS meeting last night, the topic was managing stress.  It was, overall, a lighthearted meeting and I think that is ok.  Every meeting doesn't have to be a deep, soul searching experience.  (although those are my favorite.)  I do think the topic deserves plenty of "air time" though, so I decided to turn it into a blog post. 

Natalie's son, Wyatt, was a little overwhelmed with all of our pretty faces last night and I think got a bit of stage fright.  From talking with Natalie, though, I think he would tell you that he deals with the stresses, worries and hardship that accompany dealing with his Perthes bone disease by facing them head on.  By talking about it.  By not letting it scare him.  He doesn't let self pity steal his childhood joy.  He knows God chose him for this life, to deal with this disease and he already, at age 5, trusts God fully to help him and his family battle through it.  If you get a chance to talk to Wyatt in a smaller setting, you should talk to him about it.  I bet he'd love to share with you.  He sure is a cute little guy.  And Natalie was right about his "energy", lol, that wheelchair does not dull his spirit or contain his energy!  And I think that's super!  (Sorry, Natalie!  haha)

Jacque shared with us about raising her daughters and how she learned to deal with her stresses of being a young mom and a military wife.  Doodling.  It's a fun word to say.  I don't think I will ever doodle without thinking of her from now on.  She had books and books and books FULL of doodles.  Years of stress relief.  Years of her heart and mind and soul recorded on those pages.  It may look like silly doodles, meaningless pictures...but I saw late nights, darkened rooms, seasons of sadness and seasons of joy, fond memories, family, love and honesty in those books.  (and a shopping list or two.  :-)  Jacque uses this method.  What method do you use?  At our table, we shared a few things that we use, such as list making, cleaning house, curling/tearing/folding paper, taking walks, vacuuming.  I've never thought of the importance of such idle things before.  I never thought of them as serving a purpose.  They certainly do.

I found some really great information about managing stress on the internet.  I passed it out at the meeting, but want to include it here, as well:

Managing Stress

Recognizing Stress: Stress symptoms include mental, social, and physical manifestations. These include exhaustion, extreme reactions, extreme emotions, rash behavior, loss of/increased appetite, headaches, crying, sleeplessness, and oversleeping. Escape through alcohol, drugs, or other compulsive behavior are often indications. Feelings of alarm, frustration, or apathy may accompany stress.

Stress Management

Look around

Set realistic goals for yourself.

Remove yourself from the stressful situation.

Don't overwhelm yourself

Don't sweat the small stuff

Learn how to best relax yourself.

Selectively change the way you react

Change the way you see your situation; seek alternative viewpoints

Avoid extreme reactions.

Do something for others

Get enough sleep

Work off stress

Avoid self-medication or escape

Begin to manage the effects of stress

Try to "use" stress

Try to be positive


Here are a few scriptures that I gathered up that may help you refocus during tough times:

 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?”
Matthew 6:27-30

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
"I will lie down in peace and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe."
Psalm 4:8


This is a prayer that I wrote out.  This is my heart reaching out/crying out to God.  Don't critique it.  :-)  I know some people say that just don't know what to say when they pray.  Well, I don't either.  Sometimes I think, I must sound like a child to God, when I pray.  Well, that's exactly what I am and that's exactly what you are.  We are His children.  I think He cares more about the time we spend talking to Him than the "grown up" way we speak to Him.  My group prayed this prayer before we left last night.  It was all I could do to hold back my tears.  We hurt so much deep down where nobody sees it.  I brought it all to the surface last night when I prayed this prayer to my Savior.  I hope that it might help you release your hurt, too.

Dear Lord, Please help me fight these feelings of stress and worry and anxiety. I am tired and can’t do this on my own. Your words of scripture comfort me and remind me that doing it on my own is something that I don’t ever have to do. I’m giving my problems to you, Lord. Each burden, each worry, each stress…I lay them at Your feet. Please take them from me. Fill me with Your peace. Fill me with Your rest. Fill me with Your heart. Flood my soul with calm and help me to rest so that I can take care of the things in my life that You have given me. From this moment, Lord, I ask that You help me to remember that You are always with me and there is nothing that can defeat me. Thank you for loving me and being patient with me. Hold me tight in your hands and there I will find my rest. I love you, my Abba, my Father. Amen

The following is a song written and sung by Matthew West.  It is called Strong Enough.  These lyrics really speak to my and when I'm in the car, I really belt it out, almost like my battle cry.  :-)  I hope you will look up Matthew West and listen to his stuff.  You can find his cd titled, The Story of Your Life, at Wal-Mart but also at Amazon.com for 7.99.  I strongly suggest you buy it.  (No, I'm not working on commision.)

Strong Enough

by

Matthew West

You must-You must think I'm strong-To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me -Forgive me if I'm wrong -But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up -I'm not strong enough -Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be -Strong enough -Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe -Maybe that's the point -To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally -Finally at rock bottom -
Well, that's when I start looking up -And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up -I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me -Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough -Strong enough

Cause I'm broken -Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing -You are God
and you are strong -When I am weak

I can do all things -Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be -Strong enough -Strong enough

I can do all things -Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be -Strong enough -Strong enough

I know I'm not strong enough to be Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up -I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me -Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough -Strong enough -Strong enough

You Are Always On My Mind

Since becoming the "coordinator," it seems that I can never fully get my mind away from MOPS stuff.  Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but my mind is always going full speed anyway, and now it feels like its always on the verge of explosion.  I want to start a place for all of my MOPS thoughts and use it as an outlet.  If it is something that others enjoy reading, then fantabulous.

I recently became aware of a great resource that I have never noticed in the past.  You know the double doors where we enter for MOPS at FBC Commerce?  Well, right inside those doors is a magazine rack mounted on the wall.  There is a lot of different material there, but I found three magazines that I was very interested in and brought home with me.  They are called ParentLife, Living with Teenagers, and Homelife.  I briefly flipped through the HomeLife yesterday, and REALLY enjoyed it.  There were several articles that caught my eye, but the one I wanted to share first was about stereotypes of stay at home moms and working moms.   Here is some advice offered:

-How working moms can reach out to SAHMs:
1.) Acknowledge their busy schedules.
2.) Talk with them about something other than their children.
3.)Don't expect them to be crafty, perfect housekeepers or great chefs.
4.)I'm adding this one myself - Don't assume they have more free time than you do.

-How SAHMs can reach out to working moms:
1.) Show genuine interest in their careers.
2.) Occasionally offer to watch their children if they are running a few minutes late from work. (I don't really understand this one.)
3.) Don't expect them to be messy housekeepers, fast food junkies or too tired to play with their children.

If you think these things, you are STEREOTYPING!:

 - She has to work so they can afford to pay for that big house!  - Not all moms work for financial gain.  Some just really love their jobs and get great joy and satisfaction out of using their skills, HOPEFULLY in a way that brings glory to Christ.

- Ask her to organize the bake sale.  She doesn't work!  - Stay at home moms work hard, too, and often have jam packed schedules, even if their schedule looks different than a working mom schedule, don't dismiss it.  Make sure and give plenty of notice if you need their help.

- Her kids are wild and unruly.  Probably because they have grown up in daycare!  Never assume a child's struggles are related to mom's decision to work.  It could be a myriad of other reasons...and possibly not related to mom in any way!

- She stays at home with her children, but yet her house is always messy!  What does she do all day???  - Stay at home moms are much more than just a housekeeper!  They juggle multiple responsibilites and issues.  Many are also committed to church ministries and volunteer work at their children's schools that require their attention during the day.

I know that I carry my own sinful views of "my way is the right way" even though my brain tells me there is no "right" way.  So, since I deal with it, I figure some of you do as well.  We know we shouldn't judge.  Especially each other.  It's hard enough to deal with daily guilt in regards to our children and our parenting styles that we put on OURSELVES without guilt and pressure from each other.  So, lets love and respect each other's decisions and support each other in whatever way we can.  Even if their way looks different than your way.